It always catches up with you; when you least expect it, or at night when it's quiet and your mind wonders. I am living in the birth place of my momma, I have seen the house she was born in, and spent many of her years in. I have seen the schools she went to, I have seen the park she loved to play in, and I have literally walked the same roads she walked as a child- it's all for a lack of a better word, surreal.
During the day it's really exciting to see these things, and I would never change it because I LOVE IT, but at night I find myself wishing my momma was here to show me these places. I find myself just missing her so much, and just wishing I could touch her again. It's such a roller coaster ride of emotions after someone passes, and the way the emotions come out can be a bit funny. It's been such a blessing to have my Uncles show me around, i'm getting to spend more time with them, and I get to make more memories, but there is the other side of that situation and it makes me long for my momma.
I leave for holland next week, there I will be on my own and I will be finding where my mom went to boarding school and where they spend a few years in woudenburg. I know i'm never truly on my own, God and my momma are watching out for me, but it will be interesting to see how that goes. I'm rather looking forward to it.
I don't really have a purpose for this post other then I needed to get my feelings out and this seemed the only way too. I understand why some people don't like night time, the dark, or quiet. It really does make your mind wonder into every compartment; spilling out every memory possible- which is an amazing thing, its just after the smiles, laughter, and bright eyes; your eyes turn red, tears stroll down your face and your laughter turns to sobs because even though they are happy memories you ( I ) miss that person that made those memories with me more then ever. Knowing that my momma is with me on every walk I take here, and really is with me where ever I go; really does make some what of a difference. I'm gad I get to "share" this time with her even if in the most unconventional way possible.
Cheers to my Uncles for taking me around and showing me the greatest time
Cheers to my cousin's for showing me a great time && allowing me to intrude into their lives for 3 weeks
Cheers to my Uncle and Aunt for allowing me to intrude & live with them for 3 weeks.
&&&&
Cheers to the lady that made this all possible and who is smiling down from heaven because I finally made it to England and she is so happy for me.
I'm having the time of my life && I'm finding myself at night reminiscing on all the wonderful memories I have of my beautiful Momma.
I love you Momma foos && i'm missing you to the moon and back.
Love you all
Kay
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