How are you doing?

How are you doing? No REALLY how are you doing?- I can't even begin to tell you how many times I've been asked this question lately. It's funny because in our culture we have "correct" answers.. I'm good, I'm fine, I'm alright, I'm well, and maybe when someone is being honest- Not so good. Usually the simple question is asked in passing as a standard greeting, and is considered polite. I was thinking back to my time in Sierra Leone, where people consider relationship their number one priority & your EXPECTED to have a FULL conversation with every person passing. Each conversation starts with a greeting followed by the question "HOW DE BODY?!?" Which sounds a lot like our statement "how are you?" but oh so different. Mende people Really want to know how your body is; is it tired, starving, good, bad, injured, happy, ect- then you must explain WHY. After explaining why you close with Ky-en-goma meaning PRAISE BE TO GOD. Do you understand how powerful that is?

How de body? I'm starving, but praise be to God.

How de body? I'm depressed, but praise be to God.

How de body? I'm overjoyed, praise be to God.

How de body? I'm loved, Praise be to God.

How de body? my body is weak, my brother or sister died yesterday BUT Praise be to GOD.

How are you doing? No really how are you doing?!?! 

I'm tired

I'm scared

I've had better days

Honestly this is the hardest season of my life

My brain does not work

I look like crap

I miss my friends

I get annoyed easier- sometimes

I get about 4 or 5 hours of broken sleep

I miss my sassy mom

I miss girl night- eating popcorn and watching movies

I miss shopping trips

I miss being able to do anything with my mom

I feel broken every now and then

I want to yell at God and tell him how much this sucks && this is not fair

I'm so tired of planning the funeral && asking all the questions

I'm grieving && I'm stuck in the gray area

I find myself closing the bathroom door, falling to the ground and just crying- praying out to God

BUT

PRAISE BE TO GOD

-My mother is alive

My mother can talk

I can curl up in her arms, cry, and tell her how much I love her

 My mother can still comfort me

My mom found God through this all & now has a REAL relationship with him <3

We get to pray together, read the bible together, and talk about what impacts us

I have had two years of knowing this could happen and have made the best of it

My mothers smile brightens my WHOLE day

every once in a while the sassy, blunt, dry humor, come out && I LOVE IT

My dad has not had a drink sense Jan1!!!!!  

My dad is doing great & you can't even tell he had a stroke Jan 1

I have a much better relationship with my Dad

My sister and I are bonding, Talking, and building a relationship we never had

Were all dealing with the past, asking for forgiveness, and healing

God showed me the path to make my dream of a halfway house in Sierra Leone a reality!

I start school spring quarter for my pre-rec's for nursing school

My dad's eyes have been opened back up to Jesus and he is praying more

I Have a mother who I get to make new memories with daily

I have amazing, supportive, compassionate, praying, listening, loving friends

I have SO many things to be thankful for, so many positives in my life. I also have So many negative things in my life right now but through them all, like every Mende national will say PRAISE BE TO GOD. 

Momma update:

Today is no bettwserw then the past few days. She has been puking at least 8 times a day. They are trying to figure out what to do with her bowels because she has not had a Bowel Movement sense the 5 of Feb. 

----I'm asking for specific prayer for her bowels, and intestines; that they will start working and that they wont have to do a operation on her to get everything out. Something has to be done soon because her belly is slowly growing again and we don't have anything to burst and go places it shouldn't. Basically we need a miracle from God for this to start working and things to start moving. 

Good news-- her cancer counts have gone down by 100- meaning the new chemo worked and could continue to work!! were hopeful :D :D :D

Tonight as I went to open my bible, I thought to myself " Have you considered my servant Kaylyn?" I decided it was time to re-read Job.

"But if I were you, I would appeal to God; I would lay my cause before him. He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed, miracles that cannot be counted. He provides rain for the earth; he sends water on the countryside. The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety." Job 5:8-11



Love, Kay